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Saturday, March 5th, 2011
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11:23 am
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Did Orson Scott Card invent blogging? I'm reading "Ender in Exile," the millionth or so Ender book to come out, and the first direct sequel to Ender's Game, and I remembered from the first book all the stuff Ender's siblings did as Demosthenes and Locke. For those of you who haven't read the book, basically these two characters created fictional alter egos, got themselves websites, and put up their political views for all to read. Sound familiar? Ender's game came out in 1984 - the word "blog" wasn't even invented yet. Hell, the word "web" was only just starting to be used in the context of electronic communication. But Orson Scott Card very clearly was having his characters blog. But was he the first?
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| Wednesday, February 9th, 2011
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10:00 am
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| Thursday, November 18th, 2010
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6:21 pm - Library skills at the supermarket
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So I was waiting in line to purchase some basic groceries, and the clerk had some trouble ringing in one item from the customer in front of me: A Daikon Radish. He was able to weigh it, but couldn't make register calculate the price. He even asked the customer if he knew what the price was, but manually entering it didn't seem to help. He called on another worker to help him out. Clerk: "Hey, Hans, what's the code for a Daikon?" Hans: "(some string of numbers I can't remember)" Clerk: "I tried that, it doesn't work." Hans: "I know it's there, I just saw Daikon there the other day" Clerk: "Could it be under Asian vegetables?" Hans: "I'm pretty sure it's just under D." At which point I chimed in: "Could it be under Radish-comma-Daikon?"
Sure enough it was, and that customer finished up so I could buy my chocolate peppermint stick soy beverage.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, September 24th, 2010
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4:03 pm
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Random thought. When chimpanzees, our closest genetic relatives, groom one another, which apparently is a HUGE part of their social interaction, they eat ticks and parasites and whatnot, so effectively they socialize by consuming each others blood. Just sayin'.
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| Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
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10:12 am
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I'm of very mixed opinions about casino's coming to Massachusetts. On the one hand I firmly believe that people should be able to do whatever they want with their money. If they want to waste it on the so called "idiot tax" why should I care? On the other hand, every time this comes up, nobody really talks about that. They just say how much money this will bring to the state. Now, I would love it if the state had more money and, for example, didn't have to close any libraries, but I don't think money alone is a good reason to do it. In fact, money alone is a bad reason. You're talking about a government institution profiting from an addiction. People will say times are tight and the state needs the money, but those people, those families need money too. Only doing this for money is exploitative. And it's obviously just about money, things never would have gotten this far if the state wasn't dealing with a huge budget crisis. Sure, the state WILL make more money, but they'll wind up spending more money too on services, on people who lose houses, jobs, etc due to gambling issues. But, of course, being a librarian, I have a solution: Leave the state out of it. The state should offer no funding for the construction, and should receive no profits either. But that will never happen.
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| Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
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5:37 pm
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There needs to be an app that allows my string of obscenities to be broadcast directly into the car of the idiot driving in front of me.
Posted via LjBeetle
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 6th, 2010
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7:52 pm
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I have reached a milestone in my teaching career: A former student has requested to friend me on facebook. I am of mixed opinions. On the one hand there is my vanity, which, as we all know, runs deep and powerful, and is secretly flattered that this student thought enough of me to add me (as far as I can tell they haven't friended any other teachers). On the other hand there is my paranoia. Even though I've pretty much scrubbed facebook clean of any incriminating photos of me (or at least my name in any of said photos), there's always the possibility of new ones coming to light. While I know I can always just remove the tag, it's a matter of time. Sometimes just being tagged for five minutes is enough. Also I have several other coworkers on my friends list. I realize it would be very simple of them to just click the deny button, but I don't want to be the gateway by which they are all forced to do it. Not to mention all the other students who will then be adding me. I did promise one she could do it after she graduated, but she hasn't yet. I dunno. I'll take a day or two to think about this one. I welcome advise.
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| Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
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5:03 pm
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It seems absurd that they give a guinness world record to some douchebonnet for attaining the highest score in guitar hero, while not even mentioning the musician who actually played on the track. That is all.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 1st, 2010
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10:18 am
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Somerville Open Studios today and tomorrow! 12pm to 6pm My wife and I are selling jewelry and providing free brownies! Come one come all!
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 28th, 2010
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5:57 pm
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I had one of those "I love my job" moments on Thursday. Two students, generally two who sit in the back of the library and goof off came up to the desk. "Mr. Smiley," they asked, "Can you settle something for us? Does something have to be on bread to be a sandwich?" I got the impression that there had been considerable debate before hand. First I addressed the word sandwich itself. I pointed out that sandwich is both a noun and a verb. The verb sandwich means just putting one thing between two others, and we had to consider if anything that has been sandwiched is a sandwich. They liked that answer. However, referring to the specific food item, we had to take a narrower definition. A layered cake is not a sandwich, even though it is frosting between two layers of baked goods. A fried egg between two pork chops may be delicious, but is not a sandwich. However, further complicating things is the "open faced sandwich" which does not feature things between slices of bread but on top of bread. However, it does often come with two slices, even if there is no stacking involved. After discussing this a bit, I turned to the interwebs which revealed an incredibly interesting piece of information: The courts have weighted in on this. Recently. It seems a Panera bread location sued their shopping center for trying to rent out another shopfront to a Qdoba. The panera had language in their contract stipulating that the shopping center not rent out space to any other sandwich shops, and believed that burritos, as they are served on a tortilla, qualified as a sandwich. I think I've been inside a panera once in my entire life, but I think I recall that they do sell wrap sandwiches, which are not entirely unlike burritos. Qdoba went so far as to get a sworn affidavit from none other than the East Coast Grille's Chris Schlesinger - the creator of Pasta From Hell and a chef you most definitely do not want to fuck with (not to say he's not a nice guy, he gave me a free beer once, but his culinary knowledge should not be challenged unless you want to find habaneros in unpleasant places) - to bolster their case. Faced with such culinary authority, the courts ruled (rightly, in my opinion) that a burrito was not a sandwich. My students did not seem to appreciate the magnitude of such a ruling, but I printed out the following article for their records: http://tinyurl.com/y4ws4b
And speaking of Chris Schlesinger, it is time, once again, for that magnificent display of culinary masochism, Hell night. I've got my seats reserved. I'm hoping they keep the Hell Oysters and Wings of Ass Destruction on the menu, those were probably the best things we had all night. But we shall see.
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| Tuesday, March 16th, 2010
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8:08 pm
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And also: http://tinyurl.com/y9w5fdw Are you kidding me? Guinness no longer has these records for animals but they're okay for people? Can you please just drop this category? I mean, what if some other numbskull decides *she* wants to be the worlds fattest woman? What if there's an actual competition?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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8:03 pm
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Being a librarian, I just looked it up, but when you're dealing with something that sounds a lot like Q Bert, it's probably best to clarify what the hell you're talking about. Qubits indeed. http://tinyurl.com/yhpldkz
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 14th, 2010
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4:14 pm
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As most of you probably already know, Facebook provides a "people you may know" section to help you find mutual friends with people already on your list. Invariably, there are people you know who you just don't feel like adding. Or maybe not, maybe you're one of those people who just adds everyone you've ever met. But in *my* case, there are people who I know, and don't particularly dislike, but feel no reason to get back in touch with them. People I'm sort of indifferent to. Anyway, I assume that because they show up on my "people you may know" list, that I show up on theirs. So we both know each other are out there, and just don't care enough to add one another. But then, they do add me. I've got nothing against being their facebook friend, so I confirm them, but I wonder: WHY? What changed? Why the sudden need to have me on their facebook page? I'm still me. I'm still the jerk I was in highschool, except possibly more clever in my delivery. I haven't grown less cynical, or less eager to disparage things people care about. I suppose they'll find this out in due time.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
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5:27 pm
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I'm really trying hard to like this season of LOST, but they're not making it easy on me. Initially I really liked the flash sideways idea; I'm as much into alternate realities as I am into time travel. However, my fondness ends there. Right off the bat I don't like the actor or the character of Jacob. That guy just looks like a pompous douchebag which made him GREAT as the abusive ex husband on Dexter, but kind of fails him when he tries to play a benevolent spirit spouting wisdom guiding/nudging people along their destinies (a la Obi Wan, as Hurley points out). As for the character... I said this about the Star Wars prequels and I'll say it again: You can't foreshadow after the fact. If the writers say, had him pop up in the occasional flashback throughout the past four seasons, that would be awesome. But randomly, in the most recent season finale they just inserted him in randomly, and for no other purpose than to show he was there. I'm still not even convinced he's a "good guy". They're not doing a good job of selling it. There has been so much intrigue and betrayal on the show that it's really hard to just accept that Jacob is Good and Locke 2.0 is Evil. And the short Japanese guy? Don't even get me started. It's like they thought it would be a really good idea to only have him speak through a translator, and then realized how stupid it was and instead of re-shooting his scenes they just dropped in entirely. LAME! Now, while I do like the flash sideways idea, especially with the changes that presumably must have happened before the initial plane crash, one thing still bothers me: Whenever we meet a character who was also on the island, they're always introduced with their back turned. They deliver a line or two and then turn around dramatically. Obviously I have zero knowledge of the film and television industry, but as a consumer I feel you can do that ONCE, and once only. After that it becomes trite. And then the previews for next week promise questions will be answered but we've heard that before. For like, the whole show, in fact. Please either resolve some shit or kill somebody in the next show, or I may just actually get sleep on wednesdays instead.
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| Monday, February 22nd, 2010
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5:15 pm
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Well. If Andrew Koening ever turns up, he has a great career waiting for him as a viagra spokesperson.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, February 15th, 2010
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11:26 am
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Without going into too much detail... Over the summer I worked at a place that for various reasons (mostly unknown to me) considered me an "independent contractor" and paid me on a 1098 form instead of a W2. I disagreed with this decision but I wasn't going to get the job unless I agreed to it. There are many differences between independent contractors and even "temporary part time" employees, among them is the fact that an independent contractor is expected to pay the entirety of the FICA tax that normally would be split between employer and employee. They have saved themselves this money by shifting the entirety of the responsibility onto me, effectively taking money from me that I believe I am entitled to. Massachusetts has a pretty high standard when it comes to determining who is an "independent contractor" and who is not, and after considerable review I'm pretty sure I do not fit the criteria and would be vindicated were I to pursue this through legal means - specifically form SS-8, "Determination of Worker Staus" known by many accountants as the "whistle blower form". "But Jonah," you're probably saying, "you *agreed* to be paid as an independent contractor, suck it up and pay the extra taxes." According to the IRS, a workers agreement to be paid as an independent contractor has no bearing on the governments decision on whether or not I am considered a one or not, and furthermore I feel that just asking for such an agreement is just an attempt to cow me into silence. Basically, as I understand it, it's not technically a choice on anyone's part. If I fit a specific definition, then I am an independent contractor and should be paid accordingly. If I do not fit the definition, even if I agree to be paid as one, I am not an independent contractor - I am a part-time, temporary, or temporary part-time employee - and should be paid accordingly. The money involved is not a huge amount, we're not talking thousands here, but it's no small amount either. Could I get by without the money? Of course. However, this organization has been systematically doing this for years now, and I feel what they are doing is fundamentally dishonest. Perhaps dishonest is a strong word, this organization does hire a fair amount of people who do qualify as independent contractors, but this decision is ignorant at best. As you may be aware, I often take a cynical view of things and I see their insisting that I agree to be paid as a contractor as intimidation. Not many people know that this agreement is in no way binding, so I think a lot of them keep quiet thinking "well, I agreed to this". Under normal circumstances, I would have burned my bridges as soon as the tax forms came in, however my wife does have a few tentative ties to this organization and my behaving like a self-righteous jerk could eventually effect her. And I don't want that. I can do without the money. I am upset that if you add up the money this company has saved, they're sitting on tens of thousands of dollars that really should be in the pockets of its employees. On the one hand, they are a small, community-based nonprofit, and probably need the money. But on the other hand I kind of expect that sort of organization to care about its employees. While it might make things very difficult on them, I don't feel it would in any way be morally wrong of me to expect them to pay me in accordance with employment law. Ok, maybe I did agree to be paid differently, but that was a: not binding, b: only agreed to because they they were witholding my employment unless I acceded, and c: (most importantly) potentially in violation of employment laws. And they have done this countless times. They do employ a lot of independent contractors but they also employ, especially in the summers, a lot of people who are not. Who are most definitely not, and yet they are paid that way for the sole benefit of the organization. I normally don't give two shits about political issues, but I come from generations of union workers and labor activists, and some of it has definitely rubbed off on me. There is a substantial part of me that wants to file the form, consequences - for me, for my wife, and for the organization - be damned. But then, in the grand scheme of things, restitution of a few hundred dollars to me isn't really going to change the organization in any way. Even if I won, they'd just have to pay me back, but then go on doing the same to the rest of the employees. Somehow a "strongly worded letter" doesn't seem like it will do much, and I don't have the time to form a picket line of one. I don't know. Part of me just wants to throw up my arms, say "its only money" and remember all the good things they do in their community. Another part wants to say "it's my fucking money, and doing good things in your community doesn't excuse ripping me off." Decisions, decisions... I welcome thoughts and advise on these matters.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 13th, 2010
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9:41 am
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Dear Google, Normally I love your clever adaptations of your logo to coincide with significant events, holidays, or anniversaries. And I know the luge is an intense, iconic sporting event in the winter Olympics (and not as badly effected by the weather up there as downhill skiing). However, I must ask why, dirty jokes about female lugers aside, you chose to substitute the "O" in your logo with someone's crotch. Sincerely, Jonah
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| Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
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10:47 am
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I used to be one of those people who never took a sick day. Of course, that was back when if I took a sick day I didn't get paid. Now that I have actual "sick days" to use, I feel entitled to use them. I'm no use to anyone if I can't speak and am constantly blowing my nose, so why the hell not? I think I'll have some tea.
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| Sunday, January 31st, 2010
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12:03 pm
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My absolute favorite word in scrabble is Qi. Pronounced "Chi". I cannot tell you how many games I've won because of that word. Not only is it short and simple, it's one of the rare "q without u" words". They're good things to know. And it means Life or Life force, which - not that definitions matter in scrabble - is always apropos when making a game changing move. I just used it to get a 84 point score in lexulous. Triple letter and part of two words: qi and qat. Games not over yet but that gave me a big lead.
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| Sunday, January 24th, 2010
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3:35 pm
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I swear I had a lot to write about and now it's all gone. I'm getting old (31 in a few weeks), and losing my memory. I had kind of a shitty week. I don't normally get all bent out of shape over political things, but between Scott Brown and the supreme court ruling about corporate spending during elections, I'm not very thrilled with the US right now. I would be curious to hear what Scott Brown thinks of the supreme court though. He pretty much did nothing but blather about how he was going to stop corporations and lobbyists from putting politicians in their pockets and now it's just so much easier for them to do it. Well, that's democracy for you. Now, on the subject of Scott Brown. People are blaming the economy, people are blaming Coakley (who did completely blow it) but lets remember who's fault this really is: Ten Kennedy. No! Not because he died. When Romney was governor and Teddy felt the reaper stalking him, he was afraid that Romney would appoint some facist right winger to the senate if Kennedy died or had to retire. So what did he do? He made the push to change the law to this "special election" nonsense. If Ted Kennedy hadn't done that Deval Patrick would have made an appointment and we'd be done with it. Do you think he'd have even considered Scott Brown? This just goes back to one of my core beliefs about justice: You shouldn't change the law for one person. I said it when the republicans talked of altering rules so the Governator could run for president (thankfully those talks went nowhere). I said it when the whole Terry Schiavo debacle went down. And I even said it when this whole change from appointment to special election happened back when Teddy was alive. Bah. Between that and Conan O'Brien leaving, I'm really disgusted with humanity right now. And we had to put my parents dog down. She was only 8. Not a good week. Well, it wasn't entirely bad. I made some serious hot sauce in preparation for my birthday party where I will be cooking six racks of ribs, nachos, and whatever else I can come up with. Tonight I'm making goat cheese, fig, and prosciutto pizza which I'm pretty sure will be orgasmic. I've got to be a pretty bad jew when nothing cheers me up but pork products. In other news my car hit 10k miles. I was hoping to make it to the 100th day of school before that happened but put in such simple numbers I can see that would have been impossible. I'm definitely going to hit 20k before the school year is up. Other other news... I was invited to celebrate Robert Burns Night, which as best as I can tell is a scottish seder. There's lamb, and booze, and recitations, and family (though in this case not mine). I can't think of any more updates to make but I do want to start writing here more. I was perusing my old entries yesterday and some of what I wrote was actually clever. I just have no time, no time. My life is drastically different than it was a year ago. I mean, not that I was writing much then, and not that I'd advocate underemployment and sloth as a lifestyle, but it sure was easier. And I slept more. But I completely kicked my coffee habit, something I've managed to maintain even though I'm now waking up at 5:30am. My students are all getting accepted to colleges, and I try to tell them that state schools are fine and would save them money. But then I wonder what would have happened had I decided to go to UMass Amherst instead of Hartwick. You want to talk completely different life? I can't even imagine what my life would be like had I not gone there. With the exception of my wife and maybe one other person, I don't have nearly as close a friendship with anyone I've met post college as I have with the people I met while I was there. So I don't know what to tell these kids, I mean, I'm still paying for Hartwick. And will continue for several more years, but would I have met the same caliber of people somewhere else? Maybe, but not likely. I miss you guys. You know who you are.
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